Ya gotta hat it to 'em

D.C.'s hot mamas and daddies were at Capitol File mag's 1st anniversary party. Sexpot Alex Pareene -- who informs me that he is now 21-years-old -- was there as well.

No, I was not invited. Why? Because all my hats are Von Dutch, my ass is too fat and I work for the competition.

In other words ... my big head, big butt and big pen wouldn't have fit through the doors of National Portrait Gallery as easily as Fran Drescher's new hair did.