Mile-high clubbery ...

This weekend we celebrated FLY's one-year anniversary (or, as I called it ... baby's first birthday). Congrats to all of my favorite co-pilots, flight attendants, skydivers, air traffic controllers and passengers. Cheers!

Lotus is the new Lima

The "Grand Opening" of Lotus (1420 K St. NW, WDC -- right across the street from Lima) is Wednesday, May 16, 10 p.m. [complimentary pass]

More info at AbsoluteAddiction.com.

'All she does is party and sleep.'

Napoleon set the scene for the "America's Next Top Model" launch party last night. Thrown by The CW Washington and VM Public Relations, this event rocked Adams Morgan to sleep.

Speaking of sleep, "Miss Grace" popped downstairs to check out Napoleon's Parisian champagne bar with "Mr. J" and overheard some partygoers talking about me ... "All she does is party and sleep." (Note: Napoleon woulda said it like this - "Elle ne fait que faire la fete et dormir.")

Well, duh.

Skip the vitamins. Bring on the Cosmo!

Apparently, it's all of that table dancing -- and all of those healthful fruity concoctions -- keeping the world's partygoing fashionistas in shape.

"A fruity cocktail may not only be fun to drink but may count as health food, U.S. and Thai researchers said on Thursday. Adding ethanol -- the type of alcohol found in rum, vodka, tequila and other spirits -- boosted the antioxidant nutrients in strawberries and blackberries, the researchers found. Any colored fruit might be made even more healthful with the addition of a splash of alcohol ... ." Read more @ RevHealth!

You gotta love those fruit 'n alcohol lovin' USDAers (oh, I can say this because I spent some time consulting the USDA on some web stuff ... and possibly a cocktail study or two ... shhh!)

Thank you for sending this my way, "Slap my hand, please!"

Oxygen mask, please!

One of my favorite partners in party crime, Mr. Van Wylder, thought I needed to be grounded.

"KAC! It's time to stop FLYing and come back to Earth, where the real people live," he said just a few hours after stepping off the jet.



"Real people? You mean beer drinkers? Ergh!" That did sound like punishment.

I really didn't wanna leave the mile-high protection of Plastic Land, but I got my camo on, pulled on some boots (pedi protection!) and took off on the D.C. Dive Bar Tour: Destination - Chief Ike's Mambo Room.



As I cleaned off the old, crusty bar stool with one of my emergency Wet-Nap towelettes and ordered a drink, I really did feel as if I'd jumped outta 1st class sans parachute and landed right, smack-dab in a urine-soaked puke pit run by the devil.



Thank God for Napoleon -- within screaming distance of Chief Ikes. The bartenders there nursed us back to our reality (OK, well, me).



They people are really nice at Napoleon. They clean their basement - and stock it with champagne!



So unless you're big and strong like a Gold Cup Navy Seal parajumper (they drink beer, I've seen them do it), you might wanna skip that Ike-y icky Adams Morgan hub.



Apparently, it's where the anti-posh have landed.



Chief Ike's Mambo Room: Not for germophobes outta Purell, docs lacking latex, pilots sans O2 masks or plastic girls in Prada. And nothing like a pow pow!

Ladies: Thank bejeezus you're not Friday

Who names their bouncing baby girl Friday, anyway? Nobody.

If parents did, their poor teen-aged daughters would be living one hell of a high school nightmare. I can hear the jokes echoing through the steel locker-laden hallways as I type ...

"Thank God It's Friday!"
"Yo, Girl Friday! Bring me some coffee!"
"So where'd he take you on your date ... TGIFriday's?! Ha, ha, ha!"

Who created this God-awful name?

It's actually a variation on Man Friday, which was one of the main characters of Daniel Defoe's novel Robinson Crusoe. The name later become an expression used to describe a male personal assistant -- or servant -- especially one who is particularly competent or loyal, says Wikipedia.

So why don't we ever hear this Man Friday term? Maybe it's because Man tossed it out and made Girl his servant.

A true gentleman would have (at the very least) called her Woman Friday ...

Here's to the crazy ones ...

This is an Apple ad called Think Different.

It's one of my faves, well, because it makes me feel good about being nuts.

Hold all my calls. I'm blogging.

[Phil Tube]

'Get drunk and make bad decisions.'

Arenas Express: Don't leave home without it - especially if you're going to Gilbert Arenas' 25th birthday party ... because somebody's gotta pay when we all "get drunk and make bad decisions."

Read my column about G.A.'s birthday party today @ STYLE ... and enjoy some Vanilla Ice, ice baby ...



A1A Beachfront Avenue ... (via G.A.'s Lamborghini?



More party Arenas party action ...

• Stars shine at Gilbert Arenas Birthday Bash [Kelly Ann Collins / STYLE]
  
• From A-List to Zero: Arenas's Celeb-Rich Bash [WaPo]
  
• Gilbert Arenas Wants His Guests Drunk [AOL Sports]
  

Word to your mutha.

Ohmaalord. Yahoo! is pimpin' my party

Folks, be careful what you post online. It might just end up on Yahoo!.

I was surfing along and totally wiped out when I saw myself, all champagned-up, acting like fool in the Yahoo! New Year's Eve section.

Then I choked on my Odwalla pumpkin protein drink when I found even more pics of my glitteratied rear, promoting other holiday events (at restaurants and hotels where I've had, or attended, parties).

"Seriously, KAC (yes, lots of people do call me 'KAC' IRL), what were you thinking?" my friend Dano* asked.

"Geesh, I guess I was thinking that IndeBleu's Tantra Lounge is a fun place to party?" I said in a not-so-smooth answer to his interrogation. But coming from a guy who used to go by Dano Diamond*, and wear blingin' ice around his neck, I didn't feel like I owed a real explanation.

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne ?"

Well, one thing I was definitely not thinking about was the possibility that Yahoo! would pimp my ass out one year later in the name of holiday ad revenue via page views.

Pfft.

While we are on the big '007 topic ... what's your resolution?

Mine is ... never drink ... ever again. And if I do, I'll try to gracefully duck when I sense a camera flash coming.

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

D.C. Celeb Report: Take I

People say celebrities don't play in D.C., but that's a bunch of Oscar Mayer baloney.

You don't have to go to Hollywood to cross paths with Rambo, G.I. Jane ... or Alexis Carrington. All you have to do is follow your glam-sniffin' nose (or get a few strategically placed publicists drunk at Cafe Milano).

• Read more of my crazy thoughts @ STYLE