Ladies: Thank bejeezus you're not Friday

Who names their bouncing baby girl Friday, anyway? Nobody.

If parents did, their poor teen-aged daughters would be living one hell of a high school nightmare. I can hear the jokes echoing through the steel locker-laden hallways as I type ...

"Thank God It's Friday!"
"Yo, Girl Friday! Bring me some coffee!"
"So where'd he take you on your date ... TGIFriday's?! Ha, ha, ha!"

Who created this God-awful name?

It's actually a variation on Man Friday, which was one of the main characters of Daniel Defoe's novel Robinson Crusoe. The name later become an expression used to describe a male personal assistant -- or servant -- especially one who is particularly competent or loyal, says Wikipedia.

So why don't we ever hear this Man Friday term? Maybe it's because Man tossed it out and made Girl his servant.

A true gentleman would have (at the very least) called her Woman Friday ...